THE 2016 OLYMPICS: WHY WE NEED THEM

"BLUE" JIMMY:  OLYMPIC ANALYST

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  We're a week or so into the 2016 Rio Olympics and I'm surprised as always, that most people I've talked to say they can take them or leave them!  "There are more important things going on in the world than sports" they say.  Is there?  What other event on the entire planet Earth can bring together almost every country in the world for nearly a month of  joyous activities without anyone killing each other?  I rest my case ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY: Thank you, you're welcome, b**ch!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I remember a wise person once said, "The front page of the newspaper shows human failures, while the sports page shows our achievements."  Watching the news and seeing dirty politics, terrorist acts, cops shooting civilians, civilians shooting cops, bizarre senseless crimes all made me ashamed to be a human being at certain moments this year.  Watching this first week of The Olympics and seeing all the inspiring drama, incredible determination and heartwarming sportsmanship taking place in a country with so many internal challenges makes me proud to be human again ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Yeah, we need this!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

OF ALL TIME!!! OF ALL TIME!!! : THE LEGEND OF MUHAMMAD ALI

"BLUE" JIMMY:  BOXING ANALYST

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"Look at your body fly like the beat,
you're the real thing the only chance for me!
whiplashing legs can shake the nation ...
just drive him in the corner, use a combination!" - "Rally With Ali" by Humble Pie

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I guess the only thing that could knock Muhammad Ali down for the count was the Grim Reaper ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  'Cause no one else could!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  My first memories of Muhammad Ali were of seeing him on black & white TV with his huge mouth open, taunting and clowning.  This was in the '60s.  By the '70s I saw him put his money where his mouth was and witnessed incredible, entertaining fights against guys like Floyd Patterson, Ken Norton, George Foreman and those duel-to-the-death battles against Joe Frazier.  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And this was on regular TV!   No paying $100. bucks on pay-per-view to see Floyd Mayweather run around the ring for 12 rounds and win a decision on points!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  No!  These were (at that time 15 round) gladiator fights where people at ringside would hold newspapers over their face to keep from getting splashed with blood!  Don't get me started now, about how the heavyweight division in boxing don't have the kind of talent no more.  The truth is, the entire sport of boxing don't have that kind of talent no more!  I've always been attracted to flamboyant entertainers:  Elvis, James Brown, KISS, OZZY in music; The Showtime/Shaq/Kobe Los Angeles Lakers in team sports; Johnny Depp and Robert Downey Jr. in acting.  Ali, obviously stealing a little from Sugar Ray Robinson who fought in an era slightly before him, made boxing a supreme spectator sport and gave it a hero/villan/spokesman at a time when pro boxers were considered broken-nose neanderthals who could barely string a few sentences together after a fight.  Ali gave pre and post fight interviews which are legendary ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Howard Cosell:  " Muhammad, you aren't the same fighter you were 10 years ago ... "  Ali:  Howard, I talked to yo' wife and she said you ain't the same man you was 10 years ago, either!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  His boxing skills are also legendary.  Where most boxers could hit an opponent with a jab at intervals, Ali could hit opponents with two or three jabs before they even realized they were hit.  His footwork mesmerized and confused, his inhuman reflexes made other fighters punch at air and when he did get hit, he clowned, taunted and asked opponents, "Is that all you got?"  His training regimen and conditioning no doubt, inspired Sylvester Stallone when creating the "Rocky" character and oh yes, he did have the knockout punch!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  BABOOM!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  One silly argument I have heard in recent years, is that a Mike Tyson in his prime, could beat a Muhammad Ali in his prime ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  OH, S**T!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  For those with memory loss, let me set the record straight.  Ali faced many killer, knockout punchers in his career.  Most notable among these were Sonny Liston early in his career and George Foreman late in his career.  Both times he was told, "Don't do it, champ!  They're too big, too strong ... you'll get killed!"  Both times he sent these "unbeatable" fighters to the hospital.  End of argument.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  !!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  But Ali had just as much impact outside the ring as he did within.  Becoming involved with the Nation Of Islam and Malcolm X early in his career, he abandoned his given, "slave name" of Cassius Clay and adopted the Muslim name of Muhammad Ali.  After refusing to be inducted into the U.S. Army to participate in the Vietnam War due to his religious beliefs in 1967, Ali was stripped of his Heavyweight Title, arrested and made the term "conscientious objector" a household word.  In the three years he was stripped of his title, he toured colleges and universities, made many public speeches and became a national and worldwide figure in the civil rights movement which at that time, was unheard of for a professional athlete. Being a former Olympic Gold Medalist in the 1960 Rome Olympics and World Heavyweight Champion in professional boxing, his presence gave teeth to a movement which was perceived as being dominated by kooks and radicals.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  The most radical thing about Ali was his "Ali Shuffle!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Ali condemned the 911 attacks, calling the perpetrators, "fanatics" and despite being hampered by Pakinson's disease, spent the latter part of his life promoting civil rights, charitable causes and unity.  But despite the seriousness of  the various causes he was involved in, my best memories of Ali are still the ones where he was clowning before, during and after a fight, defeating opponents with showmanship and funky style after being told he was "too young" or "too old" or "too Black."

BLIND DOG OZZY:  "I can't lose with the stuff I use!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  And in the end, it is fitting that a man who overcame so many obstacles in his life and helped others overcome theirs, chose fighting as his career.  Yes, he was a fighter.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Amen, brother!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!

bluejames61@hotmail.com

GET STRONG, MOTHERF***ER!!!: MOVEMENT #3 THE KETTLEBELL SWING

"BLUE" JIMMY:  KETTLEBELL OPERATOR

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  People see me swingin' the kettlebell out in the park and they ask, "what the hell is that?"

BLIND DOG OZZY:  'Cause it looks like you got a cannonball with a handle on it -- THE BELL FROM HELL!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The kettlebell is a Russian-born exercise device that has been around for more that one hundred years and has been turning boys into men for the same time!  What is unique about the kettlebell is that it not something you use to isolate certain body parts ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I heard some pussy in the gym the other day saying he had to work on his "glutes!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  But it's really a workout tool which makes your whole body strong all at once, the way the Good Lord intended!  Some have described the kettlebell as a gym you can hold in your hand and that's an accurate description.  Beware of videos you see on the Internet showing big galoots messing around with 100lb kettlebells or showing off, holding two kettlebells in each hand.  This is not how you use a kettlebell.  You only need one, which you hold in one hand or switch from hand to hand during various kettlebell drills.  For some reason kettlebells come in kilograms (or poods if you buy one in Russia) and most experts agree that an average-sized man in decent shape would get a good workout from a kettlebell weighing 16kg (about 35 lbs).

A well-worn, 1 pood, 16 kg (or if you're a Yankee) 35lb kettlebell

BLIND DOG OZZY:  So what do you do with this thing?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  There are various swings and drills you can do with the kettlebell such as:  The clean and press; the snatch; the figure 8; the windmill; the Turkish getup and many others that address such issues as strength, flexibility, endurance, balance, agility and  resistance to pain.  Beware:  If you take a traditional, Russian-style  kettlebell course from a certified instructor, it will be assumed that you are a Navy S.E.A.L.,  Mossad (Israeli Intelligence),  Spetsnaz (Russian Special Forces) or other hardcore law enforcement member and you will be expected to perform kettlebell drills until you cough up blood!  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  OH, S**T!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  If you're not required to take out a terrorist's vital organs with your bare hands on a  daily basis, there are other ways to learn how to use this valuable exercise tool.  One book I recommend is "Enter The Kettlebell" by Pavel  Tsatsouline, who is the Russian-born expert on kettlebells who also introduced them and popularized them in the United States.  He claims that kettlebells have "bred weakness out of the Russian gene pool" and also says that the kettlebell is the reason Russians have dominated strength-oriented sports for decades.  These are bold claims but I can guarantee you that "Pavel," as he is simply known in strength-training circles, knows more about kettlebell history, mechanics and training regimens than anyone around.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I don't got thumbs so I can't use one! ... Does this goddamned thing work?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  As an experiment, I used nothing but a kettlebell for about 10 minutes a day for three years and I maintained all my muscle mass, got more cut and more athletic than ever before!  The gym I used to work in had about $100,000. bucks of equipment in it and I replaced it all with an $80.00 dollar kettlebell!  I'd say it was a good investment!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Where can you get one?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I noticed all sporting goods stores have 'em now but they come in varying degrees of quality.  Some folks think a piece of iron is a piece of iron but do yourself a favor and get a real Russian-style kettlebell and if you're not stupid enough to lose it, it should last you the rest of your life.  How many things do you own that you can say that about?

BLIND DOG OZZY:  If you buy one of those cushioned, plastic-covered kettlebells that you see at Target, you're probably one of those people who steps out of the shower to take a pee in the toilet!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

RONDA ROUSEY GETS KNOCKED THE F**K OUT! : THE CASE FOR STAND UP FIGHTERS

"BLUE" JIMMY:  MARTIAL ARTIST

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  UFC bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey was defeated (Sat. Nov. 14, 2015) at UFC 193 in Melbourne, Australia.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  She wasn't defeated, she was knocked the f**k out in the second round!!! 

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Her challenger Holly Holm , a former champion boxer, kickboxer and now UFC champion, showed superior fighting skills against Rousey, who was used to getting opponents on the ground and beating them in the first round with some sort of  joint lock ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Not this time!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The term Mixed Martial Arts originally meant the practice of combining the best techniques from all martial arts to make a person a well-rounded, multi-skilled fighter.  One of the first to practice this was the great Bruce Lee, who made it a point to study fighting arts from all over the world (check out my blog, "Eternal Dragon:  Why You Will Never Be As Badass As Bruce Lee").  Now however, MMA refers to the sport where two combatants square off in a ring and try to bludgeon or choke each other into submission.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Like gladiators!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Modern MMA fighting derives much from Brazilian Jui Jitsu which was popularized and practiced by the Gracie family, who had been practicing Jui Jitsu since the early 1900's.  The Gracie family brought the sport to the U.S. in the 1990's and was instrumental in the development of the UFC.  At a certain point in their history, the Gracie family toured certain martial arts schools and took on challengers in no-holds-barred matches where they easily defeated poorly trained Karate and other martial arts students who had no real full-contact experience.  Thus, began the myth that Brazilian Jui Jitsu was somehow a superior form of self-defense.  It's true that BJJ brought valuable groundfighting, joint locks, chokes and submissions to martial artists who had neglected those techniques for years.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Since Kung Fu movies in the 70's showed nothing but flying kicks to the head!  "Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting!" ...

"BLUE" JIMMY:  But many folks like me take issue with the idea of BJJ-style groundfighting as self-defense.  Hand to hand martial arts were developed so that people of average size and strength could defeat larger and stronger opponents using leverage, skill and the striking of vital points on an opponent's body to render them harmless.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Like that roundhouse kick to Ronda Rousey's head that made her see her spirit guide!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I seriously doubt that in a street situation, if you're facing a 300 pound weight lifter, a strapped gang member or a drunk with a broken beer bottle in his hand, you would want to try tackling them by the legs and wrestling on the ground with them for half an hour!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And both of you are not gonna be fighting barefoot in your pajamies like an MMA match!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  You have to strike hard and fast at soft tissue or vital organs (eyes; throat; groin; kneecaps; etc.) and then get out of there before a fight even has a chance to start.  Look at video of some of those MMA matches and they last for hours on the ground before one fighter usually gets exhausted and finally taps out.  On the street, that's a good way to kicked senseless by your opponent's buddies or have a beer bottle broke over your head!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Look at the Rousey vs Holm  fight and you'll see a stand up fighter in Holm who refused to let  the fight go to the ground.  Rousey tried to turn it into a wrestling match so she could apply her famous arm bar and she got hammered with fists, elbows and feet and got taken out the old-fashioned way -- "Kill the head and the body will die!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Groundfighting is a valuable technique that shouldn't be neglected by martial artists. ( Watch the film "Game Of Death" and see Bruce Lee take out Kareem Abdul Jabbar with a BJJ-style choke hold!).  But there's a reason so many strikes are banned in MMA / UFC style matches -- There ain't no substitute for hitting someone hard and fast where it hurts and walking away!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  OW!  MY BALLS!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

GET STRONG, MOTHERF***ER!!!: MOVEMENT # 2 SQUATS

"BLUE" JIMMY:  STRONG MOTHERF***ER

  DO THIS!!!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA  

NOT THIS!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  If you don't got strong legs, you got nothin'!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  You seen my videos -- I can climb fences!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Your legs are your foundation, The pillars of stone which hold up the whole temple.  In the gym, I've seen people who don't even work their legs!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Why do you think Popeye gets his ass kicked regularly by Bluto until he eats that goddamned can of spinach? ... Look at those skinny legs!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Screw all those machines in the gym what got cables, pulleys, wires, digital readouts and a faggoty cupholder so you can sip ice coffee in the middle of your set -- THE SQUAT  is the king of all leg exercises!!! 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And you don't need s**t  to do it!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I seen people put 4,5, heavy plates on each end of a barbell to do squats, have people sit on their back, tie weights to the leg machine and all kinds of useless s**t!  Tell me people, when was the last time you had to strap 500 pounds of iron to your back and move up and down like you got nothing better to do?  But I personally know many people who are so out of condition and decadently obese, they can't even get up off the floor if they fall down!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I'm tempted to do a "Your mama so fat ... " joke right here!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The point is, you need to be an expert in lifting and lowering your own body before you can  move on to other, more adventurous pursuits!  You can get incredibly strong legs by just lifting your own body weight.  Just like the pushup, there is an amazing variety of squats that you can do:  Deep squats; half squats; jumping squats; Hindu squats; sumo squats and whatever else people have thought up to torture their legs.
  
BLIND DOG OZZY:  How about the "I ain't got jack, squat!"    

"BLUE" JIMMY:  If you're a chronic weightlifter who's not convinced that bodyweight squats can get you strong, try these -- the one-legged squat and the horse stance.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  OH, S**T!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The one-legged squat is popular among indigenous people, prison inmates and former KGB thugs who needed to kick down doors on a regular basis.  This is an exercise you to be in top shape to even attempt!  Sometimes referred to as a "pistol," most people find that they can get down all right ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Everybody knows how to get down!!!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  It's the getting up part that makes people cry!  Unless you spent your youth in a Russian prison, most people, (even me!) will have to hold on to something for stability on the way up.  Yes, this is cheating but you will still get excellent benefits from the exercise.  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Another thing -- you're not gonna fire off  50 reps of  this exercise!

ONE-LEGGED SQUAT

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The strain on your one leg is so intense during this exercise, you'll be lucky if  you can do 3 to 5 reps per leg.  If you practice this exercise often, you might get up to 10 reps per leg.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Any more than that, and you're probably on a United Nations s**tlist as a war criminal!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I'm not even sure if you want to know about the Horse Stance.

HORSE STANCE

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Aw, hell no!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The horse stance, as far back as I can research, was developed by Kung  Fu and Karate masters to make students regret the fact that they were born with legs.  Basically, you get down in a wide - legged squat ...

BLIND DOG OZZY: ... Like you're riding a big ass horse! ... 

"BLUE" JIMMY:  ... Or you're sitting on an invisible chair with no arms!  The purpose of this stance in combat, is to give you stability so no bullies can knock you over ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ... Or you're battling drug traders on the deck of a Chinese junk off the coast of Nei Lingding during the Opium Wars!   

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Whatever the case may be, martial arts instructors have been known to make students stay in this stance  for 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes! ...

BLIND DOG OZZY: ... Until you wish you were born with no legs!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  This builds incredible strength and endurance in your legs and back muscles as well as the ability to anchor yourself to the ground in a split second during combat.  I never met a Karate or Kung Fu master what had weak legs!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And when they kick or sweep you, it feels like you been hit by a baseball bat!!!  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  People ask me, "Jimmy, there's all these squats and I want to make my legs strong -- which squat do I do?"  The answer is, you should try all these squats at different times, pick the two or three that you hate the most and stick with those until your legs look like the columns of the Parthenon in ancient Greece!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Or like the legs of my middle school lunch lady -- Damn!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com 

GET STRONG, MOTHERF***ER!!!: MOVEMENT # 1 PUSHUPS

"BLUE" JIMMY:  STRONG MOTHERF***ER

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I just seen a movie the other day that made me want to hurl.  It was called "Generation Iron" and was supposedly a sort-of-sequel to "Pumping Iron," the documentary about the "sport" of bodybuilding which made Arnold Schwarzenegger famous.  It showed big, bloated, steroid-injected, competitive bodybuilders grunting in the weight room, stuffing themselves with rhinoceros-sized meals and shooting up with industrial waste to contend for the title of Mr. Olympia, the highest title in bodybuilding.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Big muscles ... small d**k!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I've written before about the excellence of bodyweight exercise but now, I want to get into details.  When you watch movies like " Pumping Iron" and "Generation Iron," you realize why most people are too lazy to exercise.  They think you have to get a gym membership, do a half-hour of cardio, do massive bench presses and machines invented during the Spanish Inquisition for a few more hours and then sneak into a Zumba class for an hour or so to "burn off more calories."

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Then walk around the gym for another hour with your faggoty fluorescent water bottle in your hand all sweaty, telling everyone how hard you worked out!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Dude!  You nailed it!  Then you walk outside the gym and walk around the block a couple of times to "burn more calories."  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  By the time you're done, you've spent ten hours at the gym:  working fathers; single mothers; grandparents of kids of working fathers and single mothers -- who has time for this s**t!  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I could show you a workout you could do in 20 minutes that would get you strong and ripped with no equipment whatsoever!  But first we got to break it down to show you how it works.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Break it down brother!   

"BLUE" JIMMY:  When I do my outdoor workouts in public parks, I often share park space with veteranos who been in the joint for awhile and do their workouts nearby.  Over the years I've gotten to know many, and they have shared some secrets with me.  One is that the best upper body exercise of all time is the pushup.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  If you cant't do pushups then you ain't s**t in the yard!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  There's a reason they do pushups in school, in the military, on sports teams and in the cellblock -- they work.  Your chest, arms, back, abs, glutes and even your legs get benefits from doing pushups.  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Thick-neck, little-weinie weightlifters think they're badass because they do a heavy bench press in the gym.  Then they slam the bar down and flex and walk away to the  cardio room and leave all the stupid big plates on the bar so everyone can see how much they "benched."  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The bench press is an exercise that isolates muscles in an artificial way and then puts bad stress on your shoulder, wrist and elbow joints.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And it's a good way to f**k up your rotator cuff muscles -- you'll have to take a handful  of aspirin just to hold your toothbrush!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Pushups, on the other hand, strengthen your joints and 
give you muscles you can use.  I always tell my students, "Do you want to be good at lifting a barbell or good at lifting your body?"

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I hear that in my sleep already.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  It's true and if you look at world class athletes, gymnasts, soldiers, bodyguards,  special agents and martial artists you'll see the proof.  Keep in mind there ain't just one kind of pushup you can do but many:  wall pushups; lady pushups; triangle pushups, clapping pushups; uneven pushups; fingertip pushups; fist pushups; wrist pushups; hindu pushups; one-arm pushups and whatever else people have invented to carve their bodies into shape over the centuries.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  How many pushups should you do?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  There's the famous story of Muhammad Ali being asked how many pushups he could do.  He told the reporter 8 or 9.  "That's all?" replied the reporter.  Ali replied, " I don't start counting 'til I can' do anymore."

BLIND DOG OZZY:  OH, S**T!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

BIG VITA: THE MYTH OF SOIL DEPLETION

"BLUE" JIMMY:  NUTRITION EXPERT

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I heard some dude on the radio the other day saying you can cure disease and discomfort by using natural cures rich in vitamins and minerals and other nutrients.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  F**KING AYE!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I was all into his jive until he started saying that you shouldn't try to get your nutrients through food since the soil in our country is depleted  and does not contain the necessary nutrients to sustain our bodies.  He said that you should instead take vitamin and mineral supplements in capsule form because it is the only way to keep yourself from becoming a shriveled, anemic, vulgar mass of infected virulence.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NICE!

"BLUE" JIMMY: You heard of "BIG PHARMA" the conspiracy of multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical companies to keep people drugged up and f**ked up to allow their companies to make indefinite profits from the sickness and misery of all of us. 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  These companies discourage people from seeking natural cures because they cannot  patent and make profits from fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, herbs and spices.  They claim that all natural cures are the work of quacks and hucksters and that modern medicine holds all the answers to all your ailments through the proper administration of  drugs on a lifetime basis.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Dude!  Yes but now, these corporations have found a way to get a piece of the action by manufacturing vitamin and mineral supplements and they are starting to tell the tall tale of "soil depletion" which in you an' me terms, is the idea that the soil in this country has been farmed too much since the days of our grandparents and does not contain the necessary  nutrients to produce food which can keep us healthy.  To compensate for this "soil depletion," these corporations advise us to take vitamin and mineral supplements.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Or you will die!!!  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  These supplements, produced in laboratories and isolated from their  food sources, don't really absorb into your body the way food does.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I found vitamin capsules in my dump!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  That's what I'm saying!  You're literally flushing your money down the toilet by using these supplements -- they go right through you and out the other end.  Think about it.  This planet has produced and nurtured life for countless millions ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  and billions and trillions and quadrillions ...

"BLUE" JIMMY:  ... of years.  If the soil was "depleted" the fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, roots, tubes, herbs, spices, molds, fungus etc., could not grow at all and would not be there in your supermarket bin.  Are animals dying off from lack of nutrition?

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I caught a raccoon eating out of my food bowl!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The companies which produce vitamins and minerals and "Ancient Chinese Secrets" will say anything to make you buy their snake oil s**t.  We call this group of operators "BIG VITA" and they're  nothing but an offshoot  of "BIG PHARMA."  They tell you that you have to order their pills, powders and potions which will cure everything and anything and if you don't order their unique formula for 3 easy payments of $29.99 ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ...you will die!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Do the research peoples, in this country, we got lots of good,  nutritious food in vast amounts and don't have to eat Soylent Green.  And if you know what that term means, you're as old as me!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ...and you will die!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:   Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com