JUMPIN' & JIVIN': THE LOST ART OF JUMPING ROPE

"BLUE" JIMMY:  JUMP ROPE MASTER

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:   Jumping rope rocks man!  But you don't see many folks doing it right anymore.

BD OZZY:  I can never see the goddamned thing!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  You don't even need to see it.  It's all about feel and rhythm -- like playing guitar.

BD OZZY:  You should know!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Look at old timey black&white films of people training and you'll see dudes whipping the rope around like Bruce Lee swinging a pair of nunchuks.

BD OZZY:  No s**t!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Now you go to the gym and see cats jumping and flailing like a drunk walking into a spider web.  It's worth it to practice and get it right.  Nothing develops your speed and coordination like the rope plus you work every muscle you got at the same time.  Let me tell you, it ain't just for girls in the school yard.

BD OZZY:  A girl in the schoolyard might knock you out. 

"BLUE" JIMMY:  There's all different kinds of ropes.  There's skinny leather or plastic ropes that move so fast you can't see 'em, there's heavy, weighted ropes that will wear you out in 10 swings, there's even ropes made out of rope!  My personal favorite is the beaded rope which doesn't move as fast as the speed rope but it also won't twist and tangle like other types of ropes which makes it perfect for doing tricks. 

Once you pick a rope, the best way to learn is by watching someone who's put in the hours of practice to master it.  This is a lot easier than it used to be since you can go on the internet and find hundreds of videos of people doing different swings that you can slow down or pause.  I had to learn the hard way; by watching people at full speed and then experimenting for hours til I got something that looked sort of like what they were doing.  Once you learn some basic swings and steps the trick is to keep it up for about 3-5 minutes straight without stopping, even if you have to stop your jump and use a "rest" swing where you just keep the rope swinging with your arms and move your feet lightly.  Once you learn the basics you can move on to tricks like the crossover, double jump and behind the back which keep things from getting monotonous.

BD OZZY:   And it's a hell of a lot more fun than running laps or being on a treadmill -- plus you look sharp, man!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  And when you're done, you roll it up and stick it in your pocket.

BD OZZY:  You don't need no $2,000. dollar machine!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BD OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

YOU ARE THE GYM: THE EXCELLENCE OF BODY-WEIGHT EXERCISE

"BLUE" JIMMY:  EXERCISE ENTHUSIAST

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Look in any gym or health club or wherever people work out and you'll see a room full of machines.  I have a problem with that.  Looking back in human history, you'll find that it was the invention of machines that made us weak in the first place.  People were strong wood choppers,  water bearers, plow pullers and animal wranglers before we made machines to do all the work for us.  Then we got weak as a species and had to invent exercise regimens to make us strong again.   After centuries of presumed progress, we're right back where we started by having machines do all the work for us.

BD OZZY:  Whoa!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The art of body-weight exercise has, for the past few decades, been mostly lost in gyms in this country but not by the people who really excel in physical activity.

BD  OZZY:  We're talking about gymnasts, acrobats, athletes, martial artists, soldiers, law enforcement and prison inmates who are known to break their cuffs while in custody -- S**t!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Many of these people don't have access to weights and machines or they participate in activities that require practical strength and body skills, not bloated muscles to show off with.  Just like the ancient Spartans, who needed their bodies to perform or die, people have used basic calisthenics like the squat, the pushup, the pullup and the handstand to chisel their bodies into fighting shape since the beginning of civilization.   Decades ago, alternative medicine shook the foundations of the medical establishment when people realized there were more natural ways to treat their illnesses.  Now, with the increasing popularity of body-weight workouts in fitness centers all over the country, people are discovering that there are natural alternatives to the old weight and machine workout.  But do you see what's happened here?  In both instances, people are simply going back to the roots.

BD OZZY:  Could it be that the era of sweaty guys pumping iron and posing in front of mirrors is coming to an end?  Check out my fence climbing workout video -- you can't cage me!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BD OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!

THE L.A. (LAZY-ASS) WORKOUT

"BLUE" JIMMY:  ISSA TRAINER

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

BD OZZY:  Excuses?  We've heard 'em all at the gym; so we made a Top 10 List of excuses why people won't workout:

10.  I'm too tired when I get home from work.

9.  I want to lose the weight first, then I'll start working out  (????).

8.  I have a bad back (knee, shoulder, elbow, etc.).

7.  I'm not really a workout person.

6.  It hurts.

5.  (Women)  Guys stare at me in the gym.

4.  (Men) There's no hot girls to stare at in the gym.

3.  I don't know how to start.

2.  I heard on the news that working out is bad for you.

AND THE # 1 REASON OF ALL TIME...
" I DON'T HAVE TIME!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  If you've ever used one of these excuses, I'm going to give you for free a workout to address all these excuses.

STEP 1.  Do 25 wall squats.  If you can't do them all at once, stop and rest until you reach 25.

STEP 2.  Quickly drop to the floor and do 25 regular pushups.  If you can't do them all at once, stop and rest until you reach 25.

STEP 3.  Get up and do 25 Hindu squats.  If you can't do them all at once, stop and rest until you reach 25.

STEP 4.  Quickly drop to the floor and do 25 Hindu pushups.  If you cant do them all at once, stop and rest until you reach 25.  Boom!  You're done!  Breath deeply before, during and after this workout.  You will have worked every major muscle group in your body and your cardiovascular system will have gotten a superior workout from the short bursts of intense exercise.  You don't have to go running or lift weights afterward and you don't have to skip a day before you do it again (that's for steroid-pumped bodybuilders). Do it every day if you want but at least twice a week.  It should take you less than 15 minutes.  If you can't do the L.A. workout, you don't need a trainer, you need a rehabilitation therapist.

BD OZZY: And he's serious!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Check out the video, it shows a quick demo in order of each exercise.

BD OZZY:   Que Bueno!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BD OZZY Wow!  Wow!