THE 2016 OLYMPICS: WHY WE NEED THEM

"BLUE" JIMMY:  OLYMPIC ANALYST

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  We're a week or so into the 2016 Rio Olympics and I'm surprised as always, that most people I've talked to say they can take them or leave them!  "There are more important things going on in the world than sports" they say.  Is there?  What other event on the entire planet Earth can bring together almost every country in the world for nearly a month of  joyous activities without anyone killing each other?  I rest my case ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY: Thank you, you're welcome, b**ch!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I remember a wise person once said, "The front page of the newspaper shows human failures, while the sports page shows our achievements."  Watching the news and seeing dirty politics, terrorist acts, cops shooting civilians, civilians shooting cops, bizarre senseless crimes all made me ashamed to be a human being at certain moments this year.  Watching this first week of The Olympics and seeing all the inspiring drama, incredible determination and heartwarming sportsmanship taking place in a country with so many internal challenges makes me proud to be human again ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Yeah, we need this!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

OF ALL TIME!!! OF ALL TIME!!! : THE LEGEND OF MUHAMMAD ALI

"BLUE" JIMMY:  BOXING ANALYST

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"Look at your body fly like the beat,
you're the real thing the only chance for me!
whiplashing legs can shake the nation ...
just drive him in the corner, use a combination!" - "Rally With Ali" by Humble Pie

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I guess the only thing that could knock Muhammad Ali down for the count was the Grim Reaper ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  'Cause no one else could!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  My first memories of Muhammad Ali were of seeing him on black & white TV with his huge mouth open, taunting and clowning.  This was in the '60s.  By the '70s I saw him put his money where his mouth was and witnessed incredible, entertaining fights against guys like Floyd Patterson, Ken Norton, George Foreman and those duel-to-the-death battles against Joe Frazier.  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And this was on regular TV!   No paying $100. bucks on pay-per-view to see Floyd Mayweather run around the ring for 12 rounds and win a decision on points!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  No!  These were (at that time 15 round) gladiator fights where people at ringside would hold newspapers over their face to keep from getting splashed with blood!  Don't get me started now, about how the heavyweight division in boxing don't have the kind of talent no more.  The truth is, the entire sport of boxing don't have that kind of talent no more!  I've always been attracted to flamboyant entertainers:  Elvis, James Brown, KISS, OZZY in music; The Showtime/Shaq/Kobe Los Angeles Lakers in team sports; Johnny Depp and Robert Downey Jr. in acting.  Ali, obviously stealing a little from Sugar Ray Robinson who fought in an era slightly before him, made boxing a supreme spectator sport and gave it a hero/villan/spokesman at a time when pro boxers were considered broken-nose neanderthals who could barely string a few sentences together after a fight.  Ali gave pre and post fight interviews which are legendary ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Howard Cosell:  " Muhammad, you aren't the same fighter you were 10 years ago ... "  Ali:  Howard, I talked to yo' wife and she said you ain't the same man you was 10 years ago, either!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  His boxing skills are also legendary.  Where most boxers could hit an opponent with a jab at intervals, Ali could hit opponents with two or three jabs before they even realized they were hit.  His footwork mesmerized and confused, his inhuman reflexes made other fighters punch at air and when he did get hit, he clowned, taunted and asked opponents, "Is that all you got?"  His training regimen and conditioning no doubt, inspired Sylvester Stallone when creating the "Rocky" character and oh yes, he did have the knockout punch!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  BABOOM!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  One silly argument I have heard in recent years, is that a Mike Tyson in his prime, could beat a Muhammad Ali in his prime ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  OH, S**T!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  For those with memory loss, let me set the record straight.  Ali faced many killer, knockout punchers in his career.  Most notable among these were Sonny Liston early in his career and George Foreman late in his career.  Both times he was told, "Don't do it, champ!  They're too big, too strong ... you'll get killed!"  Both times he sent these "unbeatable" fighters to the hospital.  End of argument.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  !!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  But Ali had just as much impact outside the ring as he did within.  Becoming involved with the Nation Of Islam and Malcolm X early in his career, he abandoned his given, "slave name" of Cassius Clay and adopted the Muslim name of Muhammad Ali.  After refusing to be inducted into the U.S. Army to participate in the Vietnam War due to his religious beliefs in 1967, Ali was stripped of his Heavyweight Title, arrested and made the term "conscientious objector" a household word.  In the three years he was stripped of his title, he toured colleges and universities, made many public speeches and became a national and worldwide figure in the civil rights movement which at that time, was unheard of for a professional athlete. Being a former Olympic Gold Medalist in the 1960 Rome Olympics and World Heavyweight Champion in professional boxing, his presence gave teeth to a movement which was perceived as being dominated by kooks and radicals.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  The most radical thing about Ali was his "Ali Shuffle!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Ali condemned the 911 attacks, calling the perpetrators, "fanatics" and despite being hampered by Pakinson's disease, spent the latter part of his life promoting civil rights, charitable causes and unity.  But despite the seriousness of  the various causes he was involved in, my best memories of Ali are still the ones where he was clowning before, during and after a fight, defeating opponents with showmanship and funky style after being told he was "too young" or "too old" or "too Black."

BLIND DOG OZZY:  "I can't lose with the stuff I use!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  And in the end, it is fitting that a man who overcame so many obstacles in his life and helped others overcome theirs, chose fighting as his career.  Yes, he was a fighter.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Amen, brother!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!

bluejames61@hotmail.com

GET STRONG, MOTHERF***ER!!!: MOVEMENT #3 THE KETTLEBELL SWING

"BLUE" JIMMY:  KETTLEBELL OPERATOR

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  People see me swingin' the kettlebell out in the park and they ask, "what the hell is that?"

BLIND DOG OZZY:  'Cause it looks like you got a cannonball with a handle on it -- THE BELL FROM HELL!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The kettlebell is a Russian-born exercise device that has been around for more that one hundred years and has been turning boys into men for the same time!  What is unique about the kettlebell is that it not something you use to isolate certain body parts ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I heard some pussy in the gym the other day saying he had to work on his "glutes!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  But it's really a workout tool which makes your whole body strong all at once, the way the Good Lord intended!  Some have described the kettlebell as a gym you can hold in your hand and that's an accurate description.  Beware of videos you see on the Internet showing big galoots messing around with 100lb kettlebells or showing off, holding two kettlebells in each hand.  This is not how you use a kettlebell.  You only need one, which you hold in one hand or switch from hand to hand during various kettlebell drills.  For some reason kettlebells come in kilograms (or poods if you buy one in Russia) and most experts agree that an average-sized man in decent shape would get a good workout from a kettlebell weighing 16kg (about 35 lbs).

A well-worn, 1 pood, 16 kg (or if you're a Yankee) 35lb kettlebell

BLIND DOG OZZY:  So what do you do with this thing?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  There are various swings and drills you can do with the kettlebell such as:  The clean and press; the snatch; the figure 8; the windmill; the Turkish getup and many others that address such issues as strength, flexibility, endurance, balance, agility and  resistance to pain.  Beware:  If you take a traditional, Russian-style  kettlebell course from a certified instructor, it will be assumed that you are a Navy S.E.A.L.,  Mossad (Israeli Intelligence),  Spetsnaz (Russian Special Forces) or other hardcore law enforcement member and you will be expected to perform kettlebell drills until you cough up blood!  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  OH, S**T!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  If you're not required to take out a terrorist's vital organs with your bare hands on a  daily basis, there are other ways to learn how to use this valuable exercise tool.  One book I recommend is "Enter The Kettlebell" by Pavel  Tsatsouline, who is the Russian-born expert on kettlebells who also introduced them and popularized them in the United States.  He claims that kettlebells have "bred weakness out of the Russian gene pool" and also says that the kettlebell is the reason Russians have dominated strength-oriented sports for decades.  These are bold claims but I can guarantee you that "Pavel," as he is simply known in strength-training circles, knows more about kettlebell history, mechanics and training regimens than anyone around.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I don't got thumbs so I can't use one! ... Does this goddamned thing work?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  As an experiment, I used nothing but a kettlebell for about 10 minutes a day for three years and I maintained all my muscle mass, got more cut and more athletic than ever before!  The gym I used to work in had about $100,000. bucks of equipment in it and I replaced it all with an $80.00 dollar kettlebell!  I'd say it was a good investment!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Where can you get one?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I noticed all sporting goods stores have 'em now but they come in varying degrees of quality.  Some folks think a piece of iron is a piece of iron but do yourself a favor and get a real Russian-style kettlebell and if you're not stupid enough to lose it, it should last you the rest of your life.  How many things do you own that you can say that about?

BLIND DOG OZZY:  If you buy one of those cushioned, plastic-covered kettlebells that you see at Target, you're probably one of those people who steps out of the shower to take a pee in the toilet!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com