RONDA ROUSEY GETS KNOCKED THE F**K OUT! : THE CASE FOR STAND UP FIGHTERS

"BLUE" JIMMY:  MARTIAL ARTIST

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  UFC bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey was defeated (Sat. Nov. 14, 2015) at UFC 193 in Melbourne, Australia.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  She wasn't defeated, she was knocked the f**k out in the second round!!! 

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Her challenger Holly Holm , a former champion boxer, kickboxer and now UFC champion, showed superior fighting skills against Rousey, who was used to getting opponents on the ground and beating them in the first round with some sort of  joint lock ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Not this time!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The term Mixed Martial Arts originally meant the practice of combining the best techniques from all martial arts to make a person a well-rounded, multi-skilled fighter.  One of the first to practice this was the great Bruce Lee, who made it a point to study fighting arts from all over the world (check out my blog, "Eternal Dragon:  Why You Will Never Be As Badass As Bruce Lee").  Now however, MMA refers to the sport where two combatants square off in a ring and try to bludgeon or choke each other into submission.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Like gladiators!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Modern MMA fighting derives much from Brazilian Jui Jitsu which was popularized and practiced by the Gracie family, who had been practicing Jui Jitsu since the early 1900's.  The Gracie family brought the sport to the U.S. in the 1990's and was instrumental in the development of the UFC.  At a certain point in their history, the Gracie family toured certain martial arts schools and took on challengers in no-holds-barred matches where they easily defeated poorly trained Karate and other martial arts students who had no real full-contact experience.  Thus, began the myth that Brazilian Jui Jitsu was somehow a superior form of self-defense.  It's true that BJJ brought valuable groundfighting, joint locks, chokes and submissions to martial artists who had neglected those techniques for years.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Since Kung Fu movies in the 70's showed nothing but flying kicks to the head!  "Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting!" ...

"BLUE" JIMMY:  But many folks like me take issue with the idea of BJJ-style groundfighting as self-defense.  Hand to hand martial arts were developed so that people of average size and strength could defeat larger and stronger opponents using leverage, skill and the striking of vital points on an opponent's body to render them harmless.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Like that roundhouse kick to Ronda Rousey's head that made her see her spirit guide!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I seriously doubt that in a street situation, if you're facing a 300 pound weight lifter, a strapped gang member or a drunk with a broken beer bottle in his hand, you would want to try tackling them by the legs and wrestling on the ground with them for half an hour!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And both of you are not gonna be fighting barefoot in your pajamies like an MMA match!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  You have to strike hard and fast at soft tissue or vital organs (eyes; throat; groin; kneecaps; etc.) and then get out of there before a fight even has a chance to start.  Look at video of some of those MMA matches and they last for hours on the ground before one fighter usually gets exhausted and finally taps out.  On the street, that's a good way to kicked senseless by your opponent's buddies or have a beer bottle broke over your head!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Look at the Rousey vs Holm  fight and you'll see a stand up fighter in Holm who refused to let  the fight go to the ground.  Rousey tried to turn it into a wrestling match so she could apply her famous arm bar and she got hammered with fists, elbows and feet and got taken out the old-fashioned way -- "Kill the head and the body will die!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Groundfighting is a valuable technique that shouldn't be neglected by martial artists. ( Watch the film "Game Of Death" and see Bruce Lee take out Kareem Abdul Jabbar with a BJJ-style choke hold!).  But there's a reason so many strikes are banned in MMA / UFC style matches -- There ain't no substitute for hitting someone hard and fast where it hurts and walking away!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  OW!  MY BALLS!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

GET STRONG, MOTHERF***ER!!!: MOVEMENT # 2 SQUATS

"BLUE" JIMMY:  STRONG MOTHERF***ER

  DO THIS!!!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA  

NOT THIS!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  If you don't got strong legs, you got nothin'!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  You seen my videos -- I can climb fences!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Your legs are your foundation, The pillars of stone which hold up the whole temple.  In the gym, I've seen people who don't even work their legs!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Why do you think Popeye gets his ass kicked regularly by Bluto until he eats that goddamned can of spinach? ... Look at those skinny legs!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Screw all those machines in the gym what got cables, pulleys, wires, digital readouts and a faggoty cupholder so you can sip ice coffee in the middle of your set -- THE SQUAT  is the king of all leg exercises!!! 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And you don't need s**t  to do it!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I seen people put 4,5, heavy plates on each end of a barbell to do squats, have people sit on their back, tie weights to the leg machine and all kinds of useless s**t!  Tell me people, when was the last time you had to strap 500 pounds of iron to your back and move up and down like you got nothing better to do?  But I personally know many people who are so out of condition and decadently obese, they can't even get up off the floor if they fall down!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I'm tempted to do a "Your mama so fat ... " joke right here!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The point is, you need to be an expert in lifting and lowering your own body before you can  move on to other, more adventurous pursuits!  You can get incredibly strong legs by just lifting your own body weight.  Just like the pushup, there is an amazing variety of squats that you can do:  Deep squats; half squats; jumping squats; Hindu squats; sumo squats and whatever else people have thought up to torture their legs.
  
BLIND DOG OZZY:  How about the "I ain't got jack, squat!"    

"BLUE" JIMMY:  If you're a chronic weightlifter who's not convinced that bodyweight squats can get you strong, try these -- the one-legged squat and the horse stance.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  OH, S**T!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The one-legged squat is popular among indigenous people, prison inmates and former KGB thugs who needed to kick down doors on a regular basis.  This is an exercise you to be in top shape to even attempt!  Sometimes referred to as a "pistol," most people find that they can get down all right ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Everybody knows how to get down!!!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  It's the getting up part that makes people cry!  Unless you spent your youth in a Russian prison, most people, (even me!) will have to hold on to something for stability on the way up.  Yes, this is cheating but you will still get excellent benefits from the exercise.  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Another thing -- you're not gonna fire off  50 reps of  this exercise!

ONE-LEGGED SQUAT

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The strain on your one leg is so intense during this exercise, you'll be lucky if  you can do 3 to 5 reps per leg.  If you practice this exercise often, you might get up to 10 reps per leg.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Any more than that, and you're probably on a United Nations s**tlist as a war criminal!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I'm not even sure if you want to know about the Horse Stance.

HORSE STANCE

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Aw, hell no!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The horse stance, as far back as I can research, was developed by Kung  Fu and Karate masters to make students regret the fact that they were born with legs.  Basically, you get down in a wide - legged squat ...

BLIND DOG OZZY: ... Like you're riding a big ass horse! ... 

"BLUE" JIMMY:  ... Or you're sitting on an invisible chair with no arms!  The purpose of this stance in combat, is to give you stability so no bullies can knock you over ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ... Or you're battling drug traders on the deck of a Chinese junk off the coast of Nei Lingding during the Opium Wars!   

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Whatever the case may be, martial arts instructors have been known to make students stay in this stance  for 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes! ...

BLIND DOG OZZY: ... Until you wish you were born with no legs!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  This builds incredible strength and endurance in your legs and back muscles as well as the ability to anchor yourself to the ground in a split second during combat.  I never met a Karate or Kung Fu master what had weak legs!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And when they kick or sweep you, it feels like you been hit by a baseball bat!!!  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  People ask me, "Jimmy, there's all these squats and I want to make my legs strong -- which squat do I do?"  The answer is, you should try all these squats at different times, pick the two or three that you hate the most and stick with those until your legs look like the columns of the Parthenon in ancient Greece!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Or like the legs of my middle school lunch lady -- Damn!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com 

GET STRONG, MOTHERF***ER!!!: MOVEMENT # 1 PUSHUPS

"BLUE" JIMMY:  STRONG MOTHERF***ER

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I just seen a movie the other day that made me want to hurl.  It was called "Generation Iron" and was supposedly a sort-of-sequel to "Pumping Iron," the documentary about the "sport" of bodybuilding which made Arnold Schwarzenegger famous.  It showed big, bloated, steroid-injected, competitive bodybuilders grunting in the weight room, stuffing themselves with rhinoceros-sized meals and shooting up with industrial waste to contend for the title of Mr. Olympia, the highest title in bodybuilding.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Big muscles ... small d**k!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I've written before about the excellence of bodyweight exercise but now, I want to get into details.  When you watch movies like " Pumping Iron" and "Generation Iron," you realize why most people are too lazy to exercise.  They think you have to get a gym membership, do a half-hour of cardio, do massive bench presses and machines invented during the Spanish Inquisition for a few more hours and then sneak into a Zumba class for an hour or so to "burn off more calories."

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Then walk around the gym for another hour with your faggoty fluorescent water bottle in your hand all sweaty, telling everyone how hard you worked out!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Dude!  You nailed it!  Then you walk outside the gym and walk around the block a couple of times to "burn more calories."  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  By the time you're done, you've spent ten hours at the gym:  working fathers; single mothers; grandparents of kids of working fathers and single mothers -- who has time for this s**t!  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I could show you a workout you could do in 20 minutes that would get you strong and ripped with no equipment whatsoever!  But first we got to break it down to show you how it works.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Break it down brother!   

"BLUE" JIMMY:  When I do my outdoor workouts in public parks, I often share park space with veteranos who been in the joint for awhile and do their workouts nearby.  Over the years I've gotten to know many, and they have shared some secrets with me.  One is that the best upper body exercise of all time is the pushup.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  If you cant't do pushups then you ain't s**t in the yard!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  There's a reason they do pushups in school, in the military, on sports teams and in the cellblock -- they work.  Your chest, arms, back, abs, glutes and even your legs get benefits from doing pushups.  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Thick-neck, little-weinie weightlifters think they're badass because they do a heavy bench press in the gym.  Then they slam the bar down and flex and walk away to the  cardio room and leave all the stupid big plates on the bar so everyone can see how much they "benched."  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The bench press is an exercise that isolates muscles in an artificial way and then puts bad stress on your shoulder, wrist and elbow joints.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And it's a good way to f**k up your rotator cuff muscles -- you'll have to take a handful  of aspirin just to hold your toothbrush!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Pushups, on the other hand, strengthen your joints and 
give you muscles you can use.  I always tell my students, "Do you want to be good at lifting a barbell or good at lifting your body?"

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I hear that in my sleep already.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  It's true and if you look at world class athletes, gymnasts, soldiers, bodyguards,  special agents and martial artists you'll see the proof.  Keep in mind there ain't just one kind of pushup you can do but many:  wall pushups; lady pushups; triangle pushups, clapping pushups; uneven pushups; fingertip pushups; fist pushups; wrist pushups; hindu pushups; one-arm pushups and whatever else people have invented to carve their bodies into shape over the centuries.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  How many pushups should you do?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  There's the famous story of Muhammad Ali being asked how many pushups he could do.  He told the reporter 8 or 9.  "That's all?" replied the reporter.  Ali replied, " I don't start counting 'til I can' do anymore."

BLIND DOG OZZY:  OH, S**T!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

BIG VITA: THE MYTH OF SOIL DEPLETION

"BLUE" JIMMY:  NUTRITION EXPERT

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I heard some dude on the radio the other day saying you can cure disease and discomfort by using natural cures rich in vitamins and minerals and other nutrients.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  F**KING AYE!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I was all into his jive until he started saying that you shouldn't try to get your nutrients through food since the soil in our country is depleted  and does not contain the necessary nutrients to sustain our bodies.  He said that you should instead take vitamin and mineral supplements in capsule form because it is the only way to keep yourself from becoming a shriveled, anemic, vulgar mass of infected virulence.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NICE!

"BLUE" JIMMY: You heard of "BIG PHARMA" the conspiracy of multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical companies to keep people drugged up and f**ked up to allow their companies to make indefinite profits from the sickness and misery of all of us. 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  These companies discourage people from seeking natural cures because they cannot  patent and make profits from fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, herbs and spices.  They claim that all natural cures are the work of quacks and hucksters and that modern medicine holds all the answers to all your ailments through the proper administration of  drugs on a lifetime basis.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Dude!  Yes but now, these corporations have found a way to get a piece of the action by manufacturing vitamin and mineral supplements and they are starting to tell the tall tale of "soil depletion" which in you an' me terms, is the idea that the soil in this country has been farmed too much since the days of our grandparents and does not contain the necessary  nutrients to produce food which can keep us healthy.  To compensate for this "soil depletion," these corporations advise us to take vitamin and mineral supplements.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Or you will die!!!  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  These supplements, produced in laboratories and isolated from their  food sources, don't really absorb into your body the way food does.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I found vitamin capsules in my dump!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  That's what I'm saying!  You're literally flushing your money down the toilet by using these supplements -- they go right through you and out the other end.  Think about it.  This planet has produced and nurtured life for countless millions ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  and billions and trillions and quadrillions ...

"BLUE" JIMMY:  ... of years.  If the soil was "depleted" the fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, roots, tubes, herbs, spices, molds, fungus etc., could not grow at all and would not be there in your supermarket bin.  Are animals dying off from lack of nutrition?

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I caught a raccoon eating out of my food bowl!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The companies which produce vitamins and minerals and "Ancient Chinese Secrets" will say anything to make you buy their snake oil s**t.  We call this group of operators "BIG VITA" and they're  nothing but an offshoot  of "BIG PHARMA."  They tell you that you have to order their pills, powders and potions which will cure everything and anything and if you don't order their unique formula for 3 easy payments of $29.99 ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ...you will die!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Do the research peoples, in this country, we got lots of good,  nutritious food in vast amounts and don't have to eat Soylent Green.  And if you know what that term means, you're as old as me!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ...and you will die!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:   Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com